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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380433">Addams Academy 2.0</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ms_Absidee_Xyz/pseuds/Ms_Absidee_Xyz'>Ms_Absidee_Xyz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Addams Academy 2.0 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Addams Family (TV 1964), Addams Family - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I'll add more as I go, Multi, My First Fanfic, Queer Characters, Queerplatonic Relationships, Speech Disorders, base on a tumblr post i found on pintrest, college student live with the Addams family, modern!AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:00:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ms_Absidee_Xyz/pseuds/Ms_Absidee_Xyz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The adult Addams are lonely with the children away at school, and they've already tried to make their own school, so they're trying again- this time with adults! Basically, college students sign up to live with the Addams and learn some life lessons along the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Addams Family &amp; OCs, Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Addams Academy 2.0 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Episode 1: Day 0</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, everyone. I know I'm late to this but I saw this tumblr post on Pintrest (lame, I know) and got super inspired. It's my first fic so I hope ya'll enjoy and I'm open to any and all constructive criticisms.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I plan to post every other Thursday, but the next chapter is more or less a continuation of this one. It'll start a bit slow, but bear with me!" Oh, past me had no idea how hard 2020 was going to be. The rest will come, I will eventually upload the entire fic, but it'll take some time. Thank you for reading.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's well into the morning, Morticia sits at her wicker peacock chair, knitting a new turtleneck for Cousin Crimp; Gomez is at her right hand side, as always, trying to relax with a new Zen Yogi position. This time, instead of a full headstand, he has his knees tucked into his chest and his ankles crossed. The Grand Guru said this pose would compress all the stress out of his body. He isn't sure about the stress but he sure can feel the compression, so it must be working. In fact, it's working so well, his problems start coming out of his mouth.</p><p>"Tish, are you sure it's alright to send the children to school?"</p><p>After marking and resting down her knitting on the end table beside her, Morticia looks at Gomez endearingly, "Bubeleh, after all this time it still bothers you?" Gomez crashes to the ground, a rush of bumbling limbs to be at Morticia's side. He takes her hand and begins placing fervent kisses along her arm.</p><p> "Oh, Morticia. You understand, don't you? How lonely and quiet it is with them gone." He pauses and gazes longingly at the grand staircase, "Why, it seems like it's all a dream and they'll come running down the stairs, so full of energy, full of life!"</p><p>Morticia looks down at her kneeling husband, gingerly holding her hand. Eyes shining with pride and ardor, she squeezes his hand and stands, gently pulling him up with her. She begins to caress his face, comforting him, "There, there, my love. Of course I understand. After all, what mother would want to be separated from their young, especially at such an influential age."</p><p>Gomez's eyes close and he begins nodding into her palms. "But," she says, pointing a nail lightly into his cheek, "remember, we want the best for our children. There is such a thing as learning and accomplishment, you know. Besides, it's a grand way for little Pugsley and Wednesday to make friends."</p><p>Uncle Fester waddles into the dining room and scoffs, "Some friends. Some school. What kind of education are those kids getting if they come home with stories about slaying dragons?" He shakes his head and crosses his arms, "Kids need to be raised where they're born, at home. Besides, it's much more fun that way."</p><p>Gomez turns to Fester, smoothly transitioning into holding Morticia around her waist. "Yes, I agree," he says. Morticia crosses her arms gracefully and raises an eyebrow at the men, "Oh?"</p><p>Fester grins and nods emphatically, "Yes, don't you remember when Pugsley was practicing magic with me?"</p><p>Gomez smirks as he recalls, "Ah, yes, yes, of course." He lets go of Morticia, reaching for a cigar in his breast pocket, "But didn't you turn him into a chimp?"</p><p>"Well, I told him not to interrupt my conjuring," Fester retorts. </p><p>"You are certainly very lucky that the whole thing was a misunderstanding and our Pugsley was alright. But, let bygones be bygones," Morticia sighs and waves away the thought dismissively, releasing her irritation. After all, it was an accident.</p><p>Uncle Fester's eyes light up. "Say," he drawls, "if the problem is us sending the kids to school, why not make a school of our own?"</p><p>"Capital idea, old man," Gomez exclaims.</p><p>“Another school,” squawks Mama as she enters the living room. She’s just come from brewing in the kitchen; you can tell by the musty scent of salamander tail and toe of sloth that clings to her shawl. “What for? The parents will just turn on us again. Ungrateful little-”</p><p>“Mama!” Morticia cuts her off, greatly offended. “I will not stand for such name calling or slander of others in such a manner. It is below the Addams’ family honor.”</p><p>Mama stands her ground, “But, Morticia-”</p><p>“No, Mama, I will not hear it. Besides, those parents were the ones who allowed that lovely Mr. Hilliard to be reinstated.”</p><p>“Oh, well, I suppose that’s true,” Mama says, nodding in agreement.</p><p>“Yes,” Morticia begins. Suddenly, there’s a light behind her eyes, “Oh, Gomez, what about that wonderful opportunity you're offering, the internship?"</p><p>Fester and Mama look at each other and parrot, “Internship?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, that’s right, cara mia. You see, Mama, Fester, the nation has recognized me as one of their top statisticians, and with all the donations I’ve made in the Addams’ name, well, they’ve come to think of me as a great philanthropist. So, the press began to recognize the name <em> Gomez Addams </em>. From there, I got a representative for my social image, then deals started coming in, and my PR thought offering a live in opportunity to a college student would bring in even more deals, so I said, ‘why not’?” Gomez finishes, pulling out the handkerchief in his breast pocket to begin cleaning the faces of his various watches. It’s a little thing he prides himself on whenever he feels smart. Mama and Fester stand shocked, still absorbing all the information. Mama is about to congratulate Gomez when he puts away his pocket watch and turns to Morticia, “But, cara, that’s only one person- not nearly enough to fill the void of our two lovely children.”</p><p>“Mon cheri, why don’t we rent out the rooms of the house. We hardly use them all.”</p><p>“Tish!” Gomez rushes to embrace her.</p><p>“Not now, dear Gomez, control yourself,” Morticia says, while gently stroking his face with the pads of her fingertips.</p><p>She removes her hand and he stuffs his in his pocket, much like a child would to resist the temptation of candy in a candy shop, “I’ll try.”</p><p>Fester decides to chime in, “Well, renting is a good idea, but who would be worthy of such an opportunity?” The question hangs in the silence and stumps the whole family.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Episode 1.2: Day 0</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The story FINALLY continues. Big thanks and much love to readers!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's 2021 and I have an actual freelance writing gig, so major confidence boost. Yay! &gt;.&lt;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later on that very same day, a knock at the door interrupts the family's afternoon routine. The children have yet to arrive so the adults must amuse themselves. Lurch and Gomez are locked in the heated adrenaline rush of swordplay in the living room- Gomez more so than Lurch. Lurch is stock still, deflecting Gomez's attacks while Gomez jumps around with seemingly boundless energy, changing his stance and technique every few seconds. Morticia looks up every once in a while from her knit work to admire and praise them, Gomez in particular. The turtleneck she is working on for Cousin Crimp is coming along nicely- no gaps in the stitches and everything is even when it lays flat. The neck measures 3 inches, exactly, which would fit Cousin Crimp just perfectly. Unless he’s lost weight, of course. Well, it’s too late to worry about it now. </p><p>Grandmama and Fester have left on a spider hunt, hoping to find some ingredients for new brews and spells. Mama is still convinced that Fester has no real magical talent and his last conjuring was just a fluke, so they’re in a competition to see who can find the most harvestmen and nightsnakes. The swamp is only a little ways from the house and provides abundant resources for their needs, and the hike keeps the duo sharp, on the lookout for any reptiles to add to their collection of pets. So far, Mama is in the lead by a whole, intact snake’s shed.</p><p>Back at the mansion, Lurch hears the knock and makes a move to excuse himself, but Morticia is quicker. She has already placed down her work and says, "I'll get it, dear. Go ahead and continue your game of Samurai." Her fingers were beginning to cramp anyways.</p><p>Lurch nods, and with a drawn out groan, turns to face Gomez again.</p><p>"Very well, Lurch, I shall come at you with all that I have," Gomez exclaims.</p><p>Morticia walks to the door, the picture of elegance as her octopus style dress trails behind her, the fabric that drapes from her wrists fluttering from the drafts in the house. With a quick glance through the glass pane on the door, she takes in a breath and makes a small O with her mouth. She pushes her hair delicately behind her shoulders and leans forward to turn the ornate handle on the door. With one arm opening the door and the other extended, Morticia welcomes her guests, "Hello, we've been expecting you, Sir del Algebros." She bows.</p><p>"Oh, thank you for inviting me into your home," he bows back awkwardly, encumbered by his bags.</p><p>“Honey, let me help you,” a voice comes from behind him.</p><p>Sir del Algebros steps into the house, “I’m fine.”</p><p>The body belonging to the voice sighs and curtsies to Morticia, “You must be Mrs. Addams. Thank you and your husband for hosting him.”</p><p>Morticia curtsies back, impressed at the elegance the other woman displays. After all, she is toting a toddler on her hip. She gestures to the woman, “Ah, you must be his wife, come in, come in. Lurch! Please take Sir del Algebros bags to his room upstairs.” She turns to the man, “You’ll be sleeping in one of our guest rooms upstairs in the left wing, Lurch will show you later, dear.”</p><p>Gomez sheaths his sword and walks over to greet the newcomers.</p><p>“Ah, before we go any further, I want to make it clear that I’m not his wife,” the woman speaks up. Sir del Algebros shoots her a look.</p><p>“Oh?” says Morticia, eyebrows raised.</p><p>“Well, we are partners, and this is our daughter, but we aren’t married quite yet. I’m Ms. Xyz.”</p><p>“Oh,” Morticia crosses her arms, with something obviously weighing on her mind. She isn't even sure just what it is yet.</p><p>Gomez grins and breaks the silence, “Well, let’s not get caught up on schematics. You love him, he loves her, that’s all there is to it. Nice to meet ya!”</p><p>“Glad to be here,” Sir del Algebros smiles as he shakes Gomez’s hand.</p><p>“Of course you are; in fact, you’re the only one. No one else responded to the ad.” In the background, Ms. Xyz has put down her child and is holding her by the hand and Lurch is making his way down the stairs.</p><p>Morticia moves forward into the living room to stand by her husband, “Well, that’s odd, dear. Such a gratuitous offer…” she trails off.</p><p>“That might have been because you put an English ad in a Spanish only newspaper that distributes to an immigrant dominant community. They do have great coupons, though,” Ms. Xyz responds.</p><p>“Well, being a Castillian myself, I thought it would be best to provide opportunities to those who believe in the American dream the most,” Gomez puffs out his chest. “But I suppose I should’ve thought to translate it to Thing,” he mumbles to himself as he pulls out his pocket watch. “Cara, look at the time! It’s a quarter past 2!”</p><p>“Oh, so it is. Sir del Algebros, Ms. Xyz, would you join us for tea?”</p><p>“Of course, it would be an honor,” Ms. Xyz motions to Lurch. “Besides, our daughter has taken quite a shine to your… Lurch.”</p><p>“Elizabeth!” Sir del Algebros exclaims, embarrassed. “Come here. People are not your personal jungle gyms.” The toddler pouts and refuses to move from her spot on Lurch’s shoulders.</p><p>“Oh, it’s quite fine. Our Wednesday was just the same at that age. Treasure it while it lasts; they grow so fast,” Morticia sighs.</p><p>With that, the group moves into the dining room while Lurch and little Elizabeth serve tea. Gomez begins lamenting the loss of his children to the education system, how dare they keep the little ones away from home for so long! How he wishes they could just stay and enjoy their lives at home. Soon enough, it’s time for Elizabeth to take a nap.</p><p>“Must you really leave? But of course we have enough rooms to house your family,” Morticia interrupts the family’s goodbyes.</p><p>“No, no, as much as I adore your home, and as hospitable as you’ve been, Mrs. Addams, we couldn’t possibly impose. Besides, we have animals to care for at home,” Ms. Xyz is cut off.</p><p>“Um kitty, an un pajaro, an fishies,” Elizabeth offers enthusiastically. Her father smiles warmly.</p><p>“Yes, and my partner has a strict policy of never mixing family and work,” Ms. Xyz finished.</p><p>Morticia sighs, “Yes, well, that I can understand, but it’ll be so lonely without you and your beautiful daughter, what a wonderful little moonbeam.”</p><p>Ms. Xyz face glows at the compliment and she pats her daughter’s head, “Well, you could always post your husband’s ad at local colleges. Students are always looking for housing opportunities, especially junior college students. I mean, at least I was!”</p><p>“Capital idea!” The group all turn to face Gomez, “Yes, it’s perfect! Morticia, cara, you and Thing begin drafting a new version of the advertisement, and make sure it’s in as many languages you can fathom. We need to cater to a wide audience! Lurch, prepare to deep clean the mansion, make sure everything is in tiptop shape for when our guests arrive. Mama and Lurch will have to prepare larger meals. Pugsley and I will have to go over the cost of all this, but I’m sure it’ll all work itself out. And little Wednesday can be our poster girl!”</p><p>Ms. Xyz chuckles to herself as she says goodbye to the family and her partner. “We’ll visit soon,” she says, noting the pain in his face as he was cradling his daughter.</p><p>“Bye papa,” Elizabeth says, yawning.</p><p>“Be good for your mama. Go mimis now, I’ll see you later munequita,” he whispers into her hair and passes her off to her mother. They kiss and say their goodbyes.</p><p>That night, after Sir del Algebros has settled in and Gomez has debriefed the whole family, Morticia and Thing sit down to do their flyers.</p><p>Morticia sighs happily, “Bubele, just think how wonderful it’ll be to have the house teeming with so much life and joy.”</p><p>“Tish!”</p><p>“Gomez! Flyers now, bubele later.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. BONUS Episode: Day 0, Preparation.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A quick flashback to the morning Sir del Algebros left home to begin his adventure with the Addamses. Just a small peek into the intern and his family.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well, love, doesn’t this tie suit me?”</p><p> </p><p>Sir del Algebros turns to his partner, “Amor…”</p><p> </p><p>She sighs, “Yeah, yeah, I know. You don’t like ties. I’ll just be ‘normal’.”</p><p> </p><p>He grasps her hand, “Baby, come on. Don’t be upset. Look, wear whatever you like.”</p><p> </p><p>She smiles and caresses his cheek, his beard tickling her palm as he smiles down at her. She moves her hand to the back of his head and bumps his forehead to hers-</p><p> </p><p>“Daddy! Look, look! Mirame.”</p><p> </p><p>The couple turns to their precious child.</p><p> </p><p>“Ay, que chuli- si-si-si-sisima, mira, mi munequetia!” Ivan del Algebros picks up his daughter and showers her in kisses.</p><p> </p><p>Ms. Xyz smiles as she watches her family, filled with joy and love. She decides against the tie, and goes off to change into something more conformative. She wants to make Ivan comfortable with this new opportunity he’s been given. Being uprooted and relocated from your family for an internship- Ivan really isn’t the type of person to accept something like that. Family is important and she wants to let him know that everything is going to be alright. She begins to think about the ties again, and how people look and treat her oddly just because she looks different.</p><p> </p><p>The memories flood her mind as she stands in their bedroom, midway through changing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Come on, girl, a smile wouldn’t kill you.” -Maybe not, but I wouldn’t mind if it did you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You’re too pretty to be a lesbian.” -But, I’m not… Nevermind, it’s not worth explaining. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Look at what you’re teaching your daughter! How’s she ever going to find a husband?” -My appearance doesn’t make me a bad parent! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Where’d you even get that. If you’re going to wear a tie, wear one that suits you.” -I got it from my grandfather after he passed… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>All the words left unsaid come to her. She feels herself begin to tear up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Wear whatever you like.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She smiles to herself, pleased with how her skirt and blouse look. She supposes wearing what she likes right now coincides with her partner’s interest. Wearing ‘normal’ clothes would probably make him feel safer about leaving, that way random men don’t approach her, hopefully.</p><p> </p><p>She speaks to herself, “Why am I getting so emotional? This is <em>not</em> an ideal time to get my period.”</p><p> </p><p>“What was that, Amor,” Ivan enters the room and wraps his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder as they both look into the mirror.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t have to change.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” she says.</p><p> </p><p>She pats the side of his thigh, “Let’s go. You’re all packed, right?”</p><p> </p><p>He blushes, “Well, almost. Should I take my YuGiOh cards? No, right. Or maybe? I’ll take the Glads… Oh, and the Xbox!”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine, I’m more of a PlayStation person anyway. I need to teach Elizabeth the way of a Keyblade Master!”</p><p> </p><p>Ivan stifles a groan while his partner prattles on about her Kingdom Hearts obsession.</p><p> </p><p>They pack up and head to the Addamses.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Episode 2: Day 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's been 3 days since the Addamses got to work making flyers, and only 1 day since they put them up. It's way too soon to expect any college kids to come knocking, right? (Wow, the way this sounds out, it's almost like the Addams family is laying out a trap for youths... a trap of unconditional love and acceptance!)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This update is for my GLORIOUS readers. Your comments mean the world to me, thank you! There's more to come.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is, fortunately, another perfectly overcast, grey day. The forecast, however, notes that sunny skies will be returning in the next few days, so the Addams family decided to wake up especially early to have a bit of outdoor family bonding time before the children left for school. Around 10 in the morning, after the children have left and the family has had time to make themselves look somewhat presentable, Ivan de Algebros comes down the grand staircase.</p><p>He is obviously stiff, rolling his shoulders and neck, trying to stretch out the soreness. He’s been with the Addamses for a few days now, but he hasn’t quite settled in yet. He still has a few bags to unpack, as well. </p><p>Well, to be fair, he wouldn’t if Lurch had his way. Gomez enters the living room with the newspaper and reaches for a cigar from his self lighting Indian cigar holder before noticing Ivan inching his way carefully down the stairs.</p><p>Gomez shrugs and grins to himself, leaving behind his cigar. “Well,” he says as he turns to face the stairs, “look who’s finally awake!” He begins moving towards Ivan, hopping up the stairs a few at a time. He claps a hand on his back, and Ivan flinches inwardly, “How’d you sleep, old man?”</p><p>Ivan rubs the back of his neck, mindful of the heavy hand still resting on his shoulder. Gomez Addams was an incredibly affectionate and physical person. They continue descending the staircase together, “And do I feel like an old man, sir. I must’ve fallen off the bed last night. I woke up this morning on the floor.”</p><p>“Well, son, the floor is the most natural place to be.”</p><p>Ivan agrees with that, he really does. In fact, he doesn’t mind sleeping on the floor. More often than not, mattresses are too soft and he begins to sink into them. Since he has previous injuries from his more active and adventurous teenage years, including a stubborn dislocated shoulder that never seems to cooperate, Ivan is perfectly comfortable with sleeping on a flat surface. Unfortunately, the Addams’s home is so old that it is just bending inwards, and the floor was warped. He’s too shy to mention this, however, especially because he doesn’t want to offend his new boss. </p><p>Gomez notices his silence, “Speak, man, if you have something to say!” He shakes Ivan gently in a kind of halfway embrace.</p><p>“Well, sir, I suppose it’s just something I’ll have to get used to,” Ivan smiles politely.</p><p>“Ah, a man’s man! Rolling with the punches. You must be an Addams at heart. I’ll get Lurch to put some boards on the edge of your bed so you don’t roll off again. We can’t have you waking up at this time every day, after all.”</p><p>Ivan nods, “Of course, sir.”</p><p>Gomez is mumbling to himself about how intriguing a bed with boards would be, so reminiscent of a hospital bed, as Morticia enters the room with a plate piled with turkey liver meatballs. She stops in her tracks as she watches Gomez guide Ivan down the few remaining stairs.</p><p>“Good morning, dear. Was the bed not to your liking?” she asks Ivan.</p><p>“Ha! More like our floor. He fell off his bed in his sleep, querida,” Gomez says, reaching out for her and pushing Ivan aside, almost tripping him.</p><p>She hands him the plate of meatballs and he puts it down on the end table by their couch. He turns to embrace her, but she’s already moved towards Ivan to examine him.</p><p>“Oh, dear. You’re incredibly stiff, aren’t you.” Gomez moves up behind her, ready to grab her from behind and embrace her, but she’s already moved again to summon Lurch.</p><p>“Shoot,” Gomez mumbles under his breath, shaking his head at his empty arms.</p><p>“Well, Sir de Algebros, it’s nothing some time in the playroom won’t fix,” she says as she pulls on the noose to call for Lurch. “Gomez, love, I do believe this bell is out again.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ll fix it right away, cara,” he says, finally able to grab her hand. He holds it gingerly, placing passionate pecks around her knuckles.</p><p>She squeezes his hand lightly, “My love, please. Sir de Algebros is in need of relief and you have the most wonderful knowledge of the tools we have in the playroom. Him first, then the bell-”</p><p>She is cut off when he pulls her hand to bring her closer to him so that their noses are just barely touching, “Then the bullfrog, Tish? You know how much I love your animal imitations.” He turns to Ivan, who swears he has whiplash from their conversation alone, “She does the best animal imitations!”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t see why not,” she says.</p><p>He releases her and gestures to Ivan with newfound enthusiasm, “Come, man! To the playroom! We shall stretch those tense and delicate muscles of yours! You could do with being a little taller, too.”</p><p>Gomez is gone in a flash, poor Sir del Algebros in tow, who, quite frankly, has been stunned into silence and will not likely be reappearing in this episode. A man needs time to absorb his surroundings, you understand.</p><p>Morticia still stands staring at the afterimage Gomez left behind, a finger to her lips, “Now, what was I going to do?”</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong> Creak, Thud, Knock. </strong>
  </em>
</p><p>“Hm? Oh, Thing!”</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong> Point, Point. </strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Thing has appeared from his box and is pointing Morticia to her forgotten tray.</p><p>“Thank you very much, Thing,” Morticia smiles graciously to Thing, inclining her head ever so slightly.</p><p>As Morticia picks up her tray of specially made turkey liver meatballs, a loud horn sounds throughout the house.</p><p>Morticia’s eyes widen, “A visitor?” She looks around, “I suppose this will have to do. I am already behind time…”</p><p>Morticia goes to the door, her meatballs once again placed on the end table. Unsure of what to expect behind the door, she puts on her most unassuming face, ready to glower if there is a threat, but also prepared to warmly welcome a new neighbor. </p><p>With one arm opening the door and the other delicately hovering before her navel, Morticia greets the small and timid girl holding the Addamses’ doorbell handle.</p><p>“He- he- hell- hello. This came, came o- off,” the girl hands Morticia the handle.</p><p>Morticia quirks an eyebrow and takes the handle, hand arched and slender fingers gently lifting the object from the girl’s hands.</p><p>“I’m here for the room!” The girl is beet red and her knuckles are turning white from the way she is grasping at the hem of her shirt.</p><p>Morticia smiles and nods at the girl, “Yes, of course, come in. But, if you could just excuse me for a second.”</p><p>The nervous girl then nervously enters the house, wondering, in a nervous way whether this strange lady could tell that she was nervous. She then stands awkwardly at the entrance to the sitting room, waiting for the strange lady to tell her what to do next.</p><p>“Please, come in. You know, I was just about to feed my African strangler. You wouldn’t mind helping would you?”</p><p>When did the strange lady come back?</p><p>The girl doesn’t answer.</p><p>So, Morticia takes the silence as confirmation, “Wonderful! Cleopatra is quite shy, though. I hope she minds her manners.”</p>
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